Reading Doughnut Danny

Kent L Johnson

“You  want a refill?”

“Sure,” I say. “Still got a cobweb or two stuck up here.”  I point to my head.

“I've known you too long. Another cup of coffee isn't gonna clear that cobweb out. You got a big spider sitting in there.” She fills my cup and gives me a smile.

I watch her backside as she walks back inside the cafe. Nice. Sometimes I like to sit and drink a cup of coffee and try to clear my head. I come down to Russ' Cafe, cause they got tables sittin' out on the sidewalk and Jenny serves me sweet and walks with a wiggle that makes a man lose track of things inside his noggin. I like sittin' outside, listening to the ambient noise of the city, feelin' sunlight wash over me. Then I hear it, a motorcycle cruisin' up the street, loud and fast. I look, and it's Doughnut Danny passin' by.

My mind wanders back in time. Danny sittin' at a table in the break room at work, smilin' and eatin' a doughnut. Most times he had a smile on his face. He had an in with the doughnut shop, always brought a box of doughnuts to work.  He operated a mixer at the bakery. I was a batch man. I weighed all the dry ingredients of a cake, cookies or whatever we were makin' into a container, then used a hand lift to move it over to a mixer operator, like Danny. The mixer operator placed the container onto his mixer and added liquid until the consistency was just right. Some days it takes more liquid, some days less. Depended on the temperature and weather. Danny was good at this, and fast. He could take 100 pounds of dry and make it 200 pounds, in no time, and always perfect too, not too wet, not too dry. It was art.

Brandy, Danny's girlfriend, worked at the factory also. When they had break together, they always sat with each other. Brandy was the first true platinum blonde I'd ever seen. I didn't realize hair could actually be that color. I was young, not too long out a school. I looked at her like she was some sort of mythological Goddess with that platinum hair and ideal proportions. You saw, even under her baggy white work gear that she had a body, and smiled with nice white teeth. A young man's poster girl, but she was Danny's girl.

Seemed like the whole crew hit the bar after work, late afternoon. Danny and me, we'd talk, Brandy and Rowdy Rhonda talked girl things. Rhonda was a looker too. I spent half my time at work trying to get Rhonda warmed up to me. We had a lot in common: Rhonda, she liked readin' a good book and she liked to tell jokes. Me, I've always been a reader and a smart-ass. I just needed to figure out how to get a little more personal with Rhonda.

“So Brandy, have you told Rhonda what a great guy I am yet?” I grinned and took a sip of beer from my glass. Rhonda, she was sittin' right next to Brandy when I said this. I looked Rhonda in the eyes.

“She's never said nothing about you,” Rhonda retorts, “'cept she said that Danny said you got a short one.” A smile wide as Broadway crossed her face.

“I can show you different, or maybe with your help I can get to the size you like.” I moved my head to the side and gave her puppy dog eyes.

“Why don't you play pool with Danny and let me and Brandy talk. Maybe we'll talk in a while?”

We never talked that night. Danny and me, we played pool. Rhonda slipped out the door without sayin' bye.

Danny spent his days off workin' on his motorcycle. He was in some sort of motorcycle club. Sometimes they rode somewhere on a weekend. I didn't see him much except for work and at the bar after. We worked a lot and it wasn't very exciting work. Same thing, day after day.

Me and Rhonda, we talked at lunch sometimes. We'd talk about what she was readin', sometimes just put a playful dig into each other. She wanted to move on and go to college. Her dream was to move up to something better, and she had a plan. She'd read about different countries, interesting people, philosophies, all kinds of stuff. She knew there was more than the bakery. I did too. I really wanted to see more of her.

After work, it'd be her and Brandy at the bar, and me and Danny at the pool tables. One day Danny had a motorcycle club meeting and it was just Rhonda, Brandy and me sittin' at the bar. Rhonda and Brandy both started askin' me questions. Had I ever been out of the city? Out of country? What was I planning on doing with my life? After a day of mindless work, I don't want to think heavy thoughts. The difference between men and women sometimes seems starker when it's just you against two gals that want to talk serious.

“You're smart, plus we know you got a degree,” Rhonda said to me. “Why are you working at the bakery? Are you planning on moving up into management?

“Haven't given it much thought. Right now, I need a job to pay the bills, rent and stuff. I'm always lookin' for a better gig, but they don't just drop in your lap.”

“Ever thought of joining the military? See the world, learn about other people?” Brandy asked.

“Thought about the military, yeah, but I don't lie. I can't pass their test to get in.”

“What test?”

“Have you ever used marijuana or other drugs for recreational purposes? I checked, that's a question you got to answer.”

“You don't do drugs,” Rhonda said. “Except the cross-tops we all use to stay awake during the heavy season.”

“Cross-tops are drugs. I smoked my share of pot before I quit, snorted some stuff too for recreational purposes. I don't do it any more, but I did at one time, I won't lie about it.”

“It's not like you're hooked or anything.”

“It'd still be telling a lie.”

“Not really.” Rhonda lifted her glass to her mouth and took a sip. A thin line of foam remained on her upper lip. I watched her move her tongue over the line and it was gone.

“Yeah, really. Why? Are you two gonna join?”

“It's a possibility,” Brandy announced. “I got to do it soon, if I'm going to do it. They have age limits.”

“What's Danny say about this?”

“Danny don't know and don't tell him.” Brandy's voice was firm. “I don't want to be at the bakery forever. Danny will be though.”

“I gotcha. I'm not sayin' anything.”

“Me and Brandy, we like, know we're going to get married some day and have kids. I want my man to be doing a job that pays well so that our kids get the best. Where do you meet men like that?”

“I'm here for you kid,” I grinned at Rhonda. “I may not make anything now, but with my brains, who knows where I'll end up.”

“In prison probably.”

“Girl...”

“No really, where does a girl meet upscale men?  You got to go where they are. They aren't at the bakery.” Brandy put a five on the bar for another beer.

“They're not in this bar either.” Rhonda's eyes moved momentarily toward me, then she nodded to the barmaid as she placed a five on the bar too.

“You think they're in the military?” I gave Rhonda a look for that last comment.

“Maybe. Young college educated officers. Doesn't have to be the military, maybe I take some classes and work in the court or for a lawyer. Get my foot in the door at a hospital or something. I see stuff on TV, I mean, I never seen a show about bakery factory workers.” Brandy scanned the room, her eyes looking for something.

“You ever notice how most of the people in the factory are young?” Rhonda asked. “The factory just chews people up and spits them out. You want to work all that overtime we work for what we get paid forever? Brandy and I are both smart enough to know. We haven't got knocked up yet, 'cause we know there's more out there. We read, we see there's a life outside of this.”

“How do you get there?”

“That's what we're tryin' to figure out. How would you get there?”

I sit dumfounded. “I don't know. I guess when you see an opportunity, take it.”

“We're trying to make our own opportunity.”

“How ya doin' that?”

“We just are."

“I'll be back.” I got up to use the restroom. On my way back, I saw Rhonda leaving. I hurried to the door and opened it. I saw her get into a car with one of the supervisors from the bakery. They kissed. I closed the door, disappointed, and went back to my glass of beer.

“Brandy, you know who Rhonda's goin' out with?”

“Yeah. Do you?”

“I just saw her get into the car with him. Rick from Cost Accounting. He's married.”

“He's having problems with his marriage. He 'n' Rhonda been going out about a month now.”

“I hate to say this, but I don't see nothin' good comin' from this.”

“You just want to be in Rhonda's pants. She's trying to better herself.”

“That's not true. Sure, I'd love to be in her pants but I mean...she's goin' out with a married man. If it was someone else, no problem, but a married man? And from the bakery too?  Trouble. Someone's gonna get hurt.”

“Rhonda can take care of herself.”

“How about you?”

“What do you mean? I can take care of myself too.”

“I like you. I like Danny too. I just hope you don't get...”

“That's my business,” she interrupted. “I like...I love Danny, but I got to do what I got to do. Me and Danny, we're not gonna be together forever. Maybe not another week.” She stared me straight in the eye. “Not a word from you either. Don't spread it around.”

“Okay.”

“I gotta leave,” Brandy said. “I'll see you at work.”

I left the bar feelin' down. I don't know why, not my life, but it involved people who touched my life. My minds distracted on the way home. I walked not paying attention to things around me as I replayed the fact that people I know are gonna be hurt soon and there was nothin' I can do about it.

A couple weeks go by and I'm deliverin' a load of dry ingredients to Danny. I forgot the conversation from the bar. Danny smiled at me, like always.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Danny asked.

“Depends on what it is?”

  He handed me an envelope. “Can you tell me what this says?”

I took the envelope and opened it up. I read the first line and averted my eyes. The writing was cursive and feminine; the curves in the letters were wide and fragile, the t's crossed with a slight slant and the i's dotted with an angled line. It was a Dear John letter to Danny.

“Danny, it's kind of personal. You should probably read it alone.”

“I can't read.” He begged me with his eyes to read it to him.

It was hard reading the letter. It had lots of emotion and a kick in the stomach at the end. It had an excuse for breaking up while placing blame on an abstract. It had dreams of one person only and left a one- time partner out to dry in the wind. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. I felt bad for Danny. He didn't deserve to hear this from me, from a letter that he didn't know how to read. I finished and put the letter back into the envelope and handed it back to him.

  “Thanks.” Danny had a tear at the corner of this eye and he wasn't smilin'.

  I didn't last much longer at the bakery. Opportunity knocked and I left. The bakery moved too, and I lost track of the people I once worked with. I always wondered what life brought those I used to know. Seeing Danny on his motorcycle.....

  “You seem more lost than usual.”

  I come out of my trance and see Jenny standin' over the table.

  “You want somethin' to eat? Another cup of coffee?” She's got the coffee pot in her hand and I watch the coffee spill back and forth inside trying to find level.

  “When you gonna marry me Jenny?”

  “Soon. You're my future ex-husband as sure as I'm standing here.”

The End